No this isn’t a weird sex move. The sexual pyramid is the sexual hierarchy. A hierarchy that most choose to ignore yet nevertheless affects their day to day lives. Nature is hierarchical and while we may be able to deny hierarchy in things like rights, employment, and other areas but this illusion will cause you nothing but pain when you apply it to a biological function like mating.
Now when looking at human sexuality we’re going to have to generalize when coming up with models to represent it. The sexual pyramid is a base model, not perfect by any means. However it does a great job of conveying a sexual truth. And yes there are such things as sexual truths.
Alright before we dive in let me address some issues you may have. Some people think that dating and mating are things that cannot be understood and therefore usually result to platitudes like “be yourself” or “you’ll eventually find the one” and unless you’re a hot girl these things will never work. Human sexuality is something that can be understood just like anything else. No one has to go around not having the success with the opposite sex they want, they chose to.
For example is someone is having trouble with their finances do they just throw up their hands and exclaim “It’s impossible to figure out!”? Alright some people do and those people are called poor people. Smart people go and buy books, watch videos, talk to experts until they come away with an understanding of what it is that is frustrating or confusing them.
However when it comes to dating most people, especially men, think that their “luck” with women will never change. Despite the fact that like getting rich “luck” has very little to do with it. Alright if you want to start on your journey to improve your dating life I suggest you check out the Attraction section of the Approved Resources tab and buy The Primer.
Now the sexual pyramid. We’ll divide it into three sections the top, the middle, and the bottom.
The Bottom
The bottom are those with the least amount of sexual options. The ones that fall into this category are the majority of men and ugly/overweight women. This tier makes up the majority of the population. Most people simply put are not attractive. Doesn’t mean their bad people just that their not attractive people. Now even though overweight and ugly women are the bottom of their respective sex as far as mating desirability goes they still hold a higher spot on the bottom tier than the majority of men do.
Why is this?
Now there have been a number of “studies” done where multiple dating profiles are put up on a dating website of both men and women. The men and women ranged from very attractive to downright ugly. Let me ask you a question who do you think got more responses? The ugliest women or the best looking men? Go ahead and guess.
Did you guess?
The winner is…the ugliest women. That’s right the worst looking of the women still got more responses than that best looking of the men. Now does this mean that ugly women occupy a higher spot on the sexual pyramid than good looking men? Not necessarily so for reasons we will get to in a bit. However this does illustrate a point. As far as getting attention from the opposite sex goes women are going to have a much easier time, however for attraction quality attention that is a different story.
Mid-Tier
Alright the mid-tier is made up of all the rest of women who are overweight or ugly. Again this is not a judge of anyone’s personal character. But remember biology has no moral compass to it, it simple is. Now the rest of women is a pretty large group.
It is. The best looking women are at the top of the mid-tier and the not so good looking ones at the bottom. Yet all women are contained here.
Most people who imagine that beautiful women would occupy the top of the pyramid but that is not so. Now if looks were the only category for sexual selectivity then yes they would and if women had the same sexual selection process as men then again yes they would but this is not so. Men and women look for different things in a sexually suitable partner. Translated to what turns women on is different from what turns a man on.
And just for future reference no women are not attracted to sensitive nice guys (but they’re really easy to use).
Top of the Pyramid
You’ve probably heard the statistic that “20% of men sleep with 80% of women” while obviously getting exact measurements on this will never happen I think this statement is more on less true (give or take a couple of percentages). Point is guys who get laid a lot, get laid A LOT. And guys who don’t get laid a lot, don’t get laid a lot. While women occupy a place somewhere in the middle.
So for sake of simplicity let’s say that the average number of partners the top tier has is ten, the middle five, and the lower one. You see how this can translate to society. You have the player asshole who has had sex with five girls who all ended up marrying some nice guy whose virginity they took. Or something similar. These girls will usually lie to the nice guy about their past to make sure he doesn’t feel bad but the alphas at the top tier all know the truth about women’s sexuality.
What does this mean for the average guy?
Now if you’re a guy I think it’s safe to say that the top 20% (or 10%) is where you want to be.
Am I right?
Of course I am.
So why don’t more guys end up there? Simply put they don’t know that they can. They think that their place on the pyramid is something that is static but it isn’t it is dynamic. Just like someone can rise from poverty to riches so can one rise from dud to stud. Granted that they are willing to put in the time and effort. Nothing happens on its own.
The reason I brought this up is to show men two things
- women do not hold all the power sexually
- you place on the pyramid is not static but dynamic
I hope that this knowledge gives you hope. For those of you who wish to ascend to the top of the pyramid not just in sexual desirability but across all aspects of life pick up a copy of The Primer today
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.
-Charles Sledge
