Despite many disagreeing ultimately most men are going to want to have a family at some point. If at the very least to have sons to carry on their name and the fight against the evils of this world. Not to mention at some point banging lots of women even if gorgeous isn’t going to bring you fulfillment (not that any woman ever will but I’ll explain what I mean in a bit). Eventually you’re going to want more out of life. However it’s important to not jump the gun and end up in a situation that you will later come to regret.
Women aren’t evil anyone who has any experience with them knows otherwise however they all do share a common biology (of course so do men). That makes them prone to certain things and ways of behaving. Following the mainstream advice will make your end up in a bad situation. The women the mainstream pushes are not worth marrying and even if they were the way that mainstream wants you to act would repel them like crazy. Society wants marriage to fail, people to be unhappy, and the sexes to be at each other’s throats. Understand that, however you as an individual can ignore society and live your own life as you see fit.
So here are things you need to have covered before you start your family both for your sake as well as that of your wife and children.
Essential #1 - Have His Finances In Order
You need to have your finances in order not so much for the benefit of your wife but so you can live the life you want to live and gain experience before getting married. If you go from living in your parent’s home straight to sharing a home with your wife your missing out of a lot of life experiences that men need. You need to have a time on your own where you live by yourself or with men your age. Where you share experiences and bonds that you would otherwise have missed out on. You need to learn how to make money for your own sake, so that it will never be a problem for you. And because it will never be a problem for you, it won’t be for your wife or children either. Which is a nice side bonus.
You must understand money as money is the foundation of your freedom. Marriage is where you already have a successful life and are on your path to accomplish your mission that you then bring a quality woman into to enhance your life. You don’t want to bring a woman in to your life for a long term basis until you have all your ducks in a row. This if for your benefit not just for hers. You need to experience a full life before getting married. Women/a woman are never the focus of your life simply a nice addition. You can bring girls in and out of your life while your building yourself up but I wouldn’t recommend doing so on a long term basis.
Essential #2 - Be Able To Defend Himself
You must know how to fight. To be able to defend yourself gives you independence and is another key core of your freedom. You have to be able to scrap and defend yourself against all threats. Again this goes in with having independence before you bring a woman into your life as a long term basis. You cannot be dependent and bring a quality woman into your life on a long term basis, you have to be independent and have experienced that independence for awhile. You have to experience that independence so that when the quality woman becomes a permanent part of your life you are still independent as it has become a part of you.
You must feel at ease in the world even in tough situations. This is required first and foremost for your independence but also for the protection of your wife and child. A man must be able to defend that which he cares about. Which is himself first and foremost but then others who are important to him. Remember like I said in The Primer a man who isn’t dangerous isn’t much of a man. This has held true since the dawn of time and will hold true until the end. Know how to handle yourself.
Essential #3 - He Must Have Experience With Women
Before getting married a man must have experience with other women. I’m not saying he has to have banged one hundred women before considering marriage but he must understand how women function and have had experience with them. He must know different types of women and interacted with quite a number of them. Again not saying he has to bang hundreds but he should have gone on many dates and be able to handle women properly. A woman should have no experience with other men before marriage and a man should have lots of experience with other women before marriage.
This isn’t a double standard as men and women are different and therefore operate by different rules. And even if it was, who gives a shit it’s the truth. You need to be able to hold the frame and the woman should know you are the king. This cannot be done in a vacuum but must be done with real women. You’re wife cannot be the first woman you have successful interactions with. You must have interactions with a variety, successful interactions. You must understand women before you bring one into your life on a long term basis. This is perhaps the most critical of the three.
Bonus: He Must Be A Good Judge Of Character
There is a principle of psychology and human interactions where people attract others that are like them. The manipulative “nice guy” attracts the manipulative drama queen and so on and so forth. Despite what we would like to believe no relationship is one hundred percent one way. To get married you have to be a good judge of character and not being a dumb ass helps as well. For example I know guys who made commitments to women who they met at a bar at closing time and then banged that night. Then lo and behold she turned out to be a slut. No kidding. Most women aren’t worth marrying (of course most guys aren’t much to brag about either) you have to be able to screen the good from the bad.
Most men are in the situations they are in because of their own stupidity. Is that harsh? Who gives a shit it’s true. And it is only the truth that will set you free. Men need to take responsibility for the situation there in that is the only way they can set about changing it. For finding a good wife I highly recommend Victor Pride’s “How To Pick The Right Wife” as well as Michael Sebastian’s “How To Find A Wife”. I also want to point out that like attracts like and therefore quality attracts quality.
So Before You Get Married…
Ultimately this comes down to having freedom before you introduce a woman into your life and then bringing her in when the time is right. You must have freedom before you can have a successful long term relationship with a woman and raise healthy children. Your freedom is where you become a man. You can’t bring in a woman as a slave and expect things to go well. Both you and her will be miserable. You must have your freedom first and lived it for some time. Cover the things mentioned above, experience it fully, then you can start a family successfully. Until you have freedom, freedom should be your number one goal.
Also I would highly recommend checking out The Family Alpha who is a shining example of what the “red pill” is/was supposed to be.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
