Sometimes a run through the basics is needed. When growing up we are trained in the basics of many things in life. Grammar, spelling, basic mathematics, general writing, physical fitness, and much more. However one thing that we are all expected to learn on our own is how to relate and interact with the opposite sex. And if you haven’t noticed many people if not most people do not have the faintest clue how to do this. Flirting is a basic thing but for many men they don’t know where to start. This article is meant to be a general guide to basic flirting for those who either want a reminder of how to do it or never learned it in the first place.
Flirting is essentially broadcasting your sexual desire for a woman to her in a variety of ways. This is often not done directly but hinted at. Flirting is essentially saying things that indicate you are interested in a woman but doing them in a way that isn’t serious. Which causes doubt in her mind as to whether you like her or not. Flirting is no replacement for being a man (nothing is) or things like eye contact and touch but should be used as another tool in the tool box to be used at the appropriate times. When you flirt with a woman don’t do it to get a reaction, must be done in a playful, lighthearted, and fun manner. Flirting should make a woman think along the lines of “He loves me, he loves me not”. Give her back and forth tension.
Of course if you spend too much time flirting and never crossing the line and pushing things forward you will never get past flirting. Remember the man leads. Flirting is just a way to warm up and have a little fun, don’t get too caught up in it. Flirting is just a way to lead to something more not that thing that you should be focusing on, just a tool. Also some women respond better to being direct, so again flirting is just a tool that is useful in some situations and is in no way, shape, or form the final solution to sleeping with the women you want.
Comparison
The cold read is when you compare a woman to something usually in a negative way. You’re so small you’re just like an old grandma or something along those lines. Remember this is done playfully you’re not trying to tear out the girl’s soul. Just poking fun. Or you’re so cute you’re like a little sister. Or something along those lines. A good combination is something positive like “You’re so cute” but then something negative “You’re like a little sister”.
Another example “I like you sweater, my grandma has one just like it” you’re making her feel good but then tapering it off with playfully busting her chops. Again this is done playfully not dead serious. Being playful and saying these things in the spirit of having fun is very important for them to work properly. Remember you’re teasing her. You giving her the “He loves me, he loves me not” vibe that many women respond strongly too.
Push/Pull
Push/pull is very similar to the comparison but it is done with actually comparing her to something. While with a comparison you were essentially saying you’re so X it’s like Y. With X being something positive and Y being something negative or vice versa. With the push/pull flirting what you are doing is also giving a woman the “He loves me, he loves me not” vibe but through a different method. Push/pull is when you do something that indicates you like a woman but then doing something that indicates you don’t like her or vice versa.
It is often done through using body language and expression than explicitly telling her like in the comparison examples. For example maybe your standing by the bar and you grab her and pull her into you but then she does something (anything really) say she coughs a little and you say that’s gross and push her away. Again this is done subtly not making a huge scene and is done with her knowing that you are joking with her. Have a smile on your face or be serious but only for a few moments.
Disqualifying
Disqualifying is when you say something to the woman that is positive but do so in a negative frame. For example “I’m not going to kiss you” or “We’re not having sex tonight” or something of that manner. Essentially you are putting something positive forth (kissing and sex in the examples) but then disqualifying the girl from them. Not only does this create the “he loves me, he loves me not” vibe but it also flips the script on women who are used to being the ones who put forth the qualifications.
Another way disqualification can be used in referring to the girl herself instead of an action. For example “You’re really fun too bad you’re not my type” or something like that. As long as the pattern is followed what you say doesn’t matter as much. You put a positive in a negative frame. “You’re kinda hot too bad I only date blondes” etc. disqualify her. Say something good about her but it’s in the context of not still not being good enough for you and meeting your standards in some way, shape, or form.
Summary
So remember flirting is just a tool in the tool box. Nothing more and nothing less. Many men once having some success with flirting stick with it to the expense of becoming fully masculine and having lots of sex. They get validation from flirting and never push it, keeping them stuck in their progress. Don’t be one of these men. As you become more masculine more and more women will be naturally attracted to you and playing lots of games will only backfire on you. This isn’t to say don’t flirt, just understand what’s most important. Your masculinity.
With that being said flirting can be a great tool. Works especially well with women who think they are better than you as well as with masculinized Western women. Go out and try it. That is the only way to tell if something truly works, real life experience. So now that you have a refresher on ways to flirt with women go out and do it. They’re waiting.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.
-Charles Sledge
