We know that women are attracted to masculine dominant men. That men who put women in their place and have their balls in tact get women hot and horny. That men who do their own thing and have their own path are very attractive to women. However this is one issue with all of this knowledge. It’s not that it’s not true, everything said above holds one hundred percent true it’s rather not understanding the whole picture. Yes, women want alpha men. Men who have plenty of options because their are masculine. Men who stand above the crowd.
However there is an element of comfort needed to seduce a woman. Whether to make her your wife or to have a fun night (or hour) with her. Women need a base level of comfort before they will let you in. Now this comfort is much less than most men think. But once you start becoming an attractive men many women will think you’re out of their league and will be nervous around you. They are going to need to have some comfort in addition to that high levels of attraction that they feel for you.
Comfort Tests
You’ve heard of shit tests, well there are also comfort tests. They happen far less than shit tests but they are a part of the game of seduction. Women need to both be attracted to a man and feel some degree of comfort around him. This doesn’t mean comfort as in he’s weak or anything like that. Just something to help even out her attraction for him with not thinking she’s just going to be used by him. She needs to know he wants her on some level too.
There has to be a balance of some sort between being attracted to a man and feeling comfort around him. Granted the balance is heavily skewed towards attraction but comfort still plays a part. She needs to know if she got hit by a bus you would care at least a little. Comfort tests are essentially the opposite of shit tests. Shit tests are to test your balls and to therefore see how attractive you are. Comfort tests are where she already knows you attractive, if anything too attractive to care about her, and wants to know that you give at least one shit.
The Balance
I don’t want you to read this and then go out declaring your love for woman as that’s not what I’m getting at. I’m simply saying comfort plays a part in the game of seduction. If a woman doesn’t trust you at all even if she is incredibly attracted to you she is going to have second thoughts about you. She is going to need reassurance of some kind. Give her that reassurance. Now none of this matters if you aren’t an attractive man but it is something to take into account once you do become and attractive man or already are one.
You need to strike a balance. I would say about eighty percent attractiveness and twenty percent comfort. For marriage you might need a seventy percent attractiveness and thirty percent comfort mix but never much lower attraction or higher comfort than that. At least for the majority of guys with the majority of women. Always make sure the attractiveness is higher than the comfort, as the attractiveness is much more important.
Summary
Making a woman comfortable around you is not the main focus, being an attractive man is. Making her comfortable is simply icing on the cake and should never be done to the exclusion of being attractive. Comfort is the sprinkle of pepper into the soup, not the meat. The tie that completes a suit not the pants and jacket. You get the point. Never worship a woman but do remember to “throw her a bone” every now and then. Which probably sounds harsher than it’s supposed to. Remember it’s all about balance. You don’t want to be one hundred percent attractiveness and you sure as hell done want to be one hundred percent comfort. Balance.
Comfort tests can be passed when you keep this in mind. Don’t get caught up in being this aloof alpha male and forget to be human. Being attractive matters much more than making a woman comfortable but comfort does play a small and essential part in seduction. Keep to the eighty/twenty split or close too it. Women do need a certain level of assurance but its much less than the average guy thinks (but it is still there). So remember in addition to being an attractive man you must give the woman you want some feeling of comfort as well and this increases for LTR and especially marriage. The eighty/twenty is for casual encounters. Remember you can lose the girl from being too aloof, doesn’t happen as much as being to lame but it’s still possible.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.
-Charles Sledge
