The friend zone. Where the hopes and dreams of many a beta have gone to die. The friend zone has achieved legendary status in the dating/pick-up/intergender relations community. The reason being is that many men in an effort to sleep with a woman try to do so by becoming their gay best friend (who isn’t gay). They lavish the woman with attention and care and listen to all her problems. They become emotional tampons for the woman to use and discard. They become placating slaves to the woman and then they wonder when they finally make a move the woman rejects them.
However the friend zone is not to zone of no return as it is often labeled. Depending of a few key factors. While many would call doubt on the very idea that men and women can be friends I believe the issue is a little more complex than that. Men and women can be friends, in certain circumstances. However there are some very heavy stipulations to that. When the majority of men and women are friends with a member of the opposite sex (who isn’t gay) they have intentions other than being friends. It may be to use the man as a emotional tampon on to use the woman for validation but true friendship isn’t on the mind. Regardless here is how you get out of the friend zone.
She Already Wanted You
There comes times when a man and women end up in close proximity to each other and have mutual attraction yet things don’t pan out for whatever reason. Perhaps she has a marriage she cares about, perhaps he is busy with work, or a million other reasons. The point is there is attraction between the two but it was never acted on so they ended up friends. However when something changes, a divorce, a change in lifestyle, or whatever suddenly the dynamics are different.
Remember there had to be attraction there in the first place but something got in the way of that attraction being acted on. Now that the obstacle is removed the attraction can blossom. The key here is that there was previous attraction. She had attraction for you, she never saw you as being gender neutral, she never saw you as “just a friend”. You can see this when a guy and a girl are dating another guy and girl yet obviously have attraction for each other. This can end up in three different ways. One the guy and girl cheat on their significant others with each other, two they break up with their significant others for each other, or three one or the other naturally breaks up with their significant other and is now free.
You Always Related To Her As Man To Woman
The biggest reason that guys end up in the friend zone is because they relate to women from a gender neutral perspective. They try to essentially neuter themselves so as not to be threatening to a woman so she will let him close. This kills any attraction she may have had for you and turns you into a eunuch in her eyes. A safe toy she can do as she pleases with (which is never sex) she can use you for emotional support and validation. You become the gay best friend because there is no sexual tension.
If you’ve always related to her as man to women there will always be an undercurrent of sexual tension to your interactions. When you are a man she responds to this. You two may be friends but as long as you don’t become the gushing girlfriend or gay friend she will see you as a man. And that’s the key. When she sees you as a man, she is going to relate to you as a man. Which always involved a sexual component. Regardless if you want to truly be friends with a woman or have sex with her you should relate to her as a man to a woman. Always keep your balls in tact. Keep your masculinity in tact.
You’re Just That Attractive
Another way to get out of the friend zone is to just be so attractive she can’t help it. This can happen if you were the gay best friend type and then focused working on yourself and becoming a man. Now after going through half her friends she is going to be interested in you. This can be one effective way to get out of the friend zone. The simply fact that you are that attractive can be enough to undo her conditioning to you being her gay friend. Of course you’ll have to stop being her emotional tampon and relate to her as man to women or this will never come about in the first place. The attraction that is.
Be a woman’s “A” guy and she will jump through any hoops to be with you. Including friendship. Of course to be her “A” guy you wouldn’t have let yourself be in that situation in the first place but you can work yourself out of it by becoming a man and being attractive. This is the dynamic where a guy goes away for a few years learns game, becomes a man and comes back and the girl he was just friends with in high school suddenly changes her ideas about friendship around him. The friend zone goes out the window.
The Friend Zone Doesn’t Have To Be The End
The point is given the right situation you can get yourself out of the friend zone. By always relating to her as man to a woman will keep you from ever falling too deeply in the friend zone to begin with. Even if she tells everyone that you two are just friends, she will do so more to keep their prying eyes away than anything. Remember what a girl says means nothing, what they do means everything. So always be a man and the woman will always see you as one. Neuter yourself for her and she’ll never view you sexually or as anything more than a source of validation or an emotional tampon
Like many things in life getting out of or never falling into the friend zone has to do with being a man. Be a man and you will not have these problems in the first place. Maintain the frame and never neuter yourself. Always show her you are a man and will never change that. You can be friends with women that can turn into something more should you want it to when you are a man. The dynamics will be reversed, she will be pining after you and befriending you in hopes that it leads to something more instead of the other way around. So remember be a man and the friend zone will never present you any problems again.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.
-Charles Sledge
