I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Men are the active force and women the reactive force. Now you may think alright I agree with the gist of what your saying but what exactly does that mean? It means that women react to the world around them while men make the world around them to react to them. This applies especially to relations between men and women. Meaning that a woman is going to react to the actions and thoughts of the man. This applies to everything from meeting a woman and having a quickie with her in the changing room to having a healthy happy marriage.
The problem that men run in to in both situations is that they expect the women to make the first move. They expect the woman to be the active force. They expect the women to show her sexual interest first they expect the woman to have good feelings towards the man. But women simply react to the man. In many ways women are like mirrors, they simply reflect what is around them. This is a very powerful principle once you fully grasp it.
Women Are Like Mirrors
I’ll use a story as an example for the sake of simplicity in this story we’ll say that the two are coworkers with no sexual tension between them (we’ll get to those kind of relations later). We’ll call them Bill and Olivia. Bill is a pretty charismatic guy and has a good first impression on everyone he meets. He combined his natural charisma with some good books to sharpen his personality. Anyways when he first meets Olivia he smiles, shakes her hand, and just generally makes her feel good. She naturally responds in kind and Bill finds that he likes Olivia and enjoys working with her.
Later Bill gets forced into a position that he doesn’t quite like. He feels caged and it makes him angry. Now he is short and mean to Olivia. Olivia responds in kind. Depending on what type of woman she is she may respond differently. Let’s say she responds by withdrawing and let’s Bill have his space because she is submissive and feels that is the best way to resolve it. Bill sees her withdrawal as dislike for him which makes him feel even worse towards her.
You already see how the cycle is going to go. Now my question what can change the cycle? Not Olivia. Women do not have agency for the most part. You can hate that fact but if something is supposed to be done I wouldn’t place my money on a woman. However if Bill separated his feelings at work from his feelings towards Olivia and began treating her how he did when he first met her the good feelings will return.
The Moral Of The Story
The point I’m making here is that women simply react to you and the world around them. When you go up to a woman are reasonably masculine and have good thoughts towards them they are generally going to respond positively to you. Doesn’t matter if this is at a bar or at church women react to your inner state and your inner state is what matters the most. I’ve been in a great mood and met women who were not yet instantly changed because being the man my frame (and therefore mood) was the dominant force and she just went along.
One more reason having a great attitude is so important. Understand as a man you can shape the world (and the women in it) around you. You are the creative molding force. If you have thoughts and feelings of hatred or negativity towards women or a woman they are generally going to be reflected back at you. Your thoughts, feelings, and above all actions have immense power.
If you are a man you can’t wait for a woman to ask you out on a date, a woman to make the first move, or the woman to be the one who changes the overall feelings of a relationship. It is you the man. You are the leader. You are the one with the responsibility for what happens in your life. You are the one that has to set the course and decide where things are going to go. Not the woman. Women react to you. If you are getting a negative reaction from women it’s not them it’s usually you. Once you figure this out it makes things simple. Focus on yourself and the world generally falls in line.
Summary
If you want something done as a man you have to do it yourself. Whether it’s makes a million dollars, become UFC world champion, take a hot girl back to your hotel room and screw her brains out, have a successful happy marriage, be a fun loving bachelor until you die. It doesn’t matter. It’s up to you. Never wait for others and especially not for a woman. Women are reactive by nature. They don’t want the lead or to be the one who takes the front. They want to follow and be led.
Focus on yourself and your mindset and the world (including the women) around you will take care of itself. Harness your masculine power and the world will be yours for the taking. Have a good attitude and you’ll find that those around you will react differently to you. I have “bitchy” women be sweet to me, “angry” women love men, and so on and so forth because of how I feel about myself and how that then reflects onto them. Get your mind right and everything else follows and never expect a woman to be the starting force.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.
-Charles Sledge
